10 tips to get the most out of your coaching.
So, you’ve booked in with a coach. You feel you’re on the edge of transformation, like something magical is about to happen. You’re hopeful. You’re excited. You can’t wait to get started.
This first step may not have been easy, or quick. You’ve spent a while following some coaches to get a feel of them, you’ve spoken to a few. You’ve made the decision to invest in yourself and booked the one you feel a real connection with. Who you trust. Who gets you.
But that was the easy bit, now the hard work begins. Despite what some may say, what you get out of coaching is down to what you put in. Don’t expect your coach to give you the answers, tell you what to do, or share the route to X result – if they’re doing any of these, they’re not coaching you!
I’ll let you into a secret, you don’t need anyone to tell you what to do. You have all the answers, you just need to find them.
So here are my top 10 tips to get the magic flowing
Be ready to commit to the work.
You don’t need to be clear on your goal, or where you want to get to, a good coach will make sure you have the time and space to really understand this, but you do need to ready to stick with the process. This is often why coaches opt for packages, instead of open-ended sessions, we want you to be clear about how long we’ll be working together, and we don’t want you to be working with us forever. Without the structure of a set number of sessions I’ve seen people flounder, and in some cases the coaching peter out.
2. Be prepared to talk.
The focus of the session should always be you; a good balance is 80% of the time you should be talking, and 20% should be your coach. What your coach says should generally be limited to them reflecting what you’ve said, and asking questions. They may also make some suggestions of ways to explore a topic or tools to support you if you’ve already agreed to this. Don’t worry if you’re not sure where to start, your coach will be able to ask questions to help you get going.
3. Be open & honest.
With yourself and your coach. Especially with your coach. They’re there to help you, if they’re doing something that you don’t like, or doesn’t work for you tell them. If they’re a good coach they won’t be upset, they’ll change the way they work, or they’ll let you know why they can’t.
4. Don’t rush to goals.
I know, you want to get the outcome now, but if it was all about goal setting you wouldn’t be here. We all know what we need to do to get from X to Y, the problem is what’s stopping us. So, take your time, explore, dig deeper, know yourself better, find what gets in the way, how you might get in your own way. It makes sense now doesn’t it.
5. Make sure the goals or actions you set together are realistic.
Once you do get to goal setting, you want to find a sweet spot, a challenging stretch they call it. Not so easy that you don’t need to think about it, but not so hard that you can’t do it. Make sure you think about what will support you achieve the goal, a realistic timeframe and who you might need to support you.
6. Be prepared
Make sure you give yourself time after your session to reflect on what you covered, and create time in your week to work on your goal. Give yourself some time the evening or morning before your session to review and reflect on how things have been since your last session. Think about what you might want to get from the next session.
7. Don’t be afraid of failing (or difficult feelings)
If you don’t meet your goal, that’s ok, that’s why you have a coach, lean into it. When things get challenging, difficult or don’t go how we hoped, there is space for growth. Think about it, who learnt anything when everything went perfectly? But, this is why it’s really important to have a coach you really trust, so that its safe for you to be honest and explore this side.
8. Be kind to yourself
I’ve never had a client where we got from A to B without some challenge, at these points its essential that you are kind to yourself, treat yourself with compassion. Acknowledge the work you are doing, the bravery in making changes, the validity of your emotions. Show yourself gratitude.
9. Don’t chase the Aha moments
You might have come to coaching to learn about yourself, and as coaches as well we hope for these moments of discovery and learning for our clients. When we’re lucky they show up in a session, and these can be powerful moments. But in my experience, these are often not the lightbulbs we expect, and more often than not, feel like gradual uncovering's, or unfurling of petals. I remember one of my own biggest Ahas came when I was making a cup of tea a few days after a coaching session. Good coaching keeps your unconscious working, and little bubbles keep coming to the surface.
10. Change the frequency of your sessions
You might start your coaching journey thinking you need sessions with a set frequency, be prepared that as your coaching progresses this may change. You might start off with weekly sessions, needing the intensity of this to explore, and as you move towards action you may feel you need more space to create change. Make sure when you book in with your coach that you have the flexibility you may want.
And if you ready to explore if coaching is for you let’s chat.