Why coaching and positive psychology?

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while, the story of what led me to positive psychology and coaching psychology.

As with most stories it starts a long, long time ago, as a child. I was a shy kid, we moved a few times, and whilst some children take to this like a duck to water, it wasn’t easy for me, I was shy, and an only child so each time we moved I had to start again. But it made me CURIOUS. Curious about people, curious about WHY they were like they were, Why they did what they did.

Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t without friends, but I often felt like I floated on the periphery. I was the observer, the listener, the shoulder to cry on.

This led me to psychology at Uni in the late 90s and early 00s, where I learnt A LOT about how the brain works, and what goes wrong with it; how we find our way in the world; how our peers and those around us influence our behaviour; why we become creatures of habit. I can still recall essay titles, and weird brain facts. It was fascinating, and cemented my interest and curiosity about people, and in particular what happens when people are experiencing poor mental health. Positive Psychology had barely raised it’s head as a branch, and as a result there was no sign of it on my course.

I followed a path of many undergrad psych students, I flirted with the idea of clinical psychology, and got myself a job as a support worker, helping people with what were termed ‘severe and enduring’ mental health problems, those living with diagnoses such as schizophrenia, bi-polar, personality disorder, depression. I loved the work, and whilst I wasn’t on-board with the medical model of chemical imbalance=serious mental health problem=lots and lots of medication, I found meaning in the work.

I began to climb the management ladder of the Third Sector and in the blink of an eye 10 years had passed, I was managing a high support hostel and was getting itchy feet. I felt the pull to learn again, and started a masters in Mental Health Studies part time alongside my job. In many ways I loved it, it stretched me, it challenged my thinking, and confirmed for me that I wanted to work with people, and knew at some point I’d train in some sort of talking intervention. But it reinforced for me how deficit focused so much of psychology was (and unfortunately still is). My years of work showed me that these so called severe and enduring mental health problems were not a chemical imbalance, they were the response to trauma and adversity, ways for people to understand their life experiences, cope with what they are experiencing, and find a way to survive.

This course did offer me the first glimpse of positive psychology though. Just one module, in an elective model, but it was a small taste of something different. But my abiding memory of this taste was of the yellow smiley, and a feeling of think positive thoughts, and it’ll be ok. I didn’t realise it was so much more.

Following this period of study, I moved to a senior and more strategic role, developing the organisations’ practice so it was psychologically informed and developed ways of working which addressed our clients’ early experiences of trauma and adversity. It was rewarding, I was making a difference in a new way, and whilst there was a niggle in the back of my head that this wasn’t my path, it was good enough for now, especially as we started a family. I was able to take a year of maternity leave, and return to work on a part-time basis, something I know I’ve very lucky to have had.

But, juggling child care and work, even with a supportive employer isn’t easy. Especially when you have perfectionist tendencies. I often felt I wasn’t doing anything to the best of my ability, or well enough. I’d taken up an offer of coaching to explore where I was and where I wanted to be. Then the pandemic hit. Whilst many people were forced to stop, we were forced to change our ways of working overnight, from a distance in my case, and with a 2 year old at home.

I realised this wasn’t going to work long term.

I was going to burn out.

I had to create change.

So, I started looking for an opportunity to train. I liked coaching, this was a way to help people, but with a focus on a future in a way that they could create change. And then I found it. Positive Psychology and Coaching Psychology. I’d found my people.

Here was a focus on what enables wellbeing, and good mental health, and how we can foster this.

Not just treat those that are ‘unwell’, but how we can enable everyone to flourish. Not just move people from -10 to 0, but how they can move to +10.

Two years of study, learning the science behind wellbeing for individuals and organisations, the importance of meaning, connections, strengths, all emotions (not just the positive), accomplishment, and the power of Post Traumatic Growth. And the art of coaching.

And of how these two dance together to create positive psychology coaching.

Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t all roses now, it wouldn’t be positive psychology if it was, that would be toxic positivity wouldn’t it.

If you’d like to find out how positive psychology could help you flourish, book a call, I’d love to chat.